Our own Episode of NCIS

So maybe stupidly one thinks that being on a cruise ship - you’re pretty safe. I mean people paid good money to come on an “around the world cruise” so you don’t think you need to watch yourself or your stuff and can easily get used to leaving your sunglasses on a lounge chair or your laptop at a table while in the buffet! Apparently not.

A few days ago Dre had a zoom meeting onboard and I’ve clearly explained that 3 mice named Zac, Chad and Luigi are in the bottom of the ship running on a wheel to keep the Wifi going- sometimes they are tired and stop running so you’re left with MSC’s back up satellite which let’s just say “dial up AOL” was faster!

Back to Dre- he was using my laptop between the cyber cafe and casino but no luck so he tried his phone but only by walking around maybe 20-30 feet away from where he was with my laptop was he able to maintain a connection. He left the laptop in the window - eyeing it from time to time until a group of people blocked his view and when he went back - voila laptop gone.

He asked everyone if they’d seen it and nothing. At this point I’m still in the room obviously to the panic he’s feeling or afraid of my reaction!

He goes to the front desk to our favorite Concierge Luisa and tells her and she calls Michail, head of security.

A little about Michail- he’s Israeli and was in the Israeli army before joining MSC 7 years ago and he’s from Greece. He’s tall, slender always in a perfect suit and tie but wears these “men in black” sun glasses that make him look intimidating. Early on in the cruise Dre and I like many couples locked in 300 square feet 24/7 had had an argument and I was loud so an MSC employee called security to make sure we were okay. Michail was who came to the door and still livid I yelled “omg I can’t even have an argument with my own husband”! He said no I couldn’t- half joking asked Dre if he wanted another room and left.

So on the missing laptop day HE showed up at the desk to meet Dre and when Dre told him it was my laptop his reply was “shit we need to find it!”

Together they searched and the only thing Dre had on his side was that he left it right under a security camera! So he requested that they go view the tape. Michail said he would and call Dre with an update!

Meanwhile Dre has finally texted me “don’t freak out but….”- well I do freak out. My laptop has my life on it! So I call the desk demanding to know what’s up with the security footage!

90 minutes from when it was taken we get a call it’s been returned by an older French couple and for Dre to go down to reception. Now I say older because one would never assume a couple their age of pinching a computer but I remember a movie a way back- a comedy - where things were disappearing on a cruise ship only to find out it was this little unassuming older couple! So don’t let that fool ya! Prize for anyone who can remember the movie I'm talking about!

Dre goes down and this couple is acting all kinds of suspicious! Michail takes Dre aside and says “you’re lucky it was under a camera”! They were apparently on deck 14 where their cabin is with it!

Dre brings the laptop back and I open it to see on the front screen a “password recovery” page! These a-holes tried to hack into my computer and either they were caught on camera/confronted by security and slammed it shut forgetting to exit out of the recovery page or tried to hack in- couldn’t and FORGOT to close out the recovery page. So now I’m livid! I asked Dre to go back to desk to file an official complaint. This was not a couple who found it turned it in- total time to accomplish 5 minutes. No! They took 90 minutes and thought they scored u til they realized hacking isn’t what it used to be and my password wasn’t Password1234!

After speaking to several new friends onboard they all agreed we needed to file a report and ask for not only security to be there but either the captain or hotel manager Savario to join!

Meeting was to take place at 10am the next day but we were in Hobart so it was rescheduled to Thursday at sea at 11am.

Side note- as we are disembarking in Hobart I see another security guy and by now they all know about the missing laptop! He says “I don’t believe they stole it- I think they tried to get in to see who owned it to return it” to which I replied if that’s what they taught you in security school I’d go back and ask for a refund. Not only was that just simple idiocy but when you open my laptop my profile pic and name are clearly on front page right above where you’d enter a password to get into my computer!

So the next day we all sit around and they ask if we want to file a police report- we decline- mostly because the thought of dealing with Sydney police and not being at Sydney opera house was too much of a headache!

We said we had proof they tried to hack Into it with the recover password screen and an iCloud report showing 12 unsuccessful attempts to access the computer!

As we are chatting- Michail says Samantha- I went to Afghanistan to fight in the military twice and when Andre told me it was your computer I said shit we have to find it because she scares me!!!

I also learnt that my message to compliment ELLEN the female security guard in Napier who got me on the bus when my sugar number was through the roof was the ONLY compliment security had received the entire cruise!

We ended the meeting trying to invite them to join us for dinner in the dining room that night but instead we were invited to what is normally an entire security department team dinner for Shabbat on Friday night but was on Thursday because we would be in Sydney Friday night!

Not wanting to show up to dinner empty handed we stopped at Duty Free onboard and got ELLEN a life size Toblerone Chocolate Bar- because why wouldn’t a diabetic give her saver chocolate as a thanks! Lol! A box of cigars for the guys to share and attempted to buy a few bottles of booze for them to share.

Well nothing is that easy- any liquor bought duty free would be held til the end of the cruise. Even when I explained I was giving the bottles to security the shop had to call security to give me permission which kinda takes the fun out of the “surprise here’s a thank you gift”!

Even crazier once sorted out and shop agreeing to deliver booze to reception at 9pm- nope they weren’t taking any chances! They delivered it to the table and handed it directly to the head of security and said “here’s your gift from your dinner guests”

We felt truly honored to be included in the blessing, their intimate dinner where food was served family style and everyone was in black head to toe- my kinda party! It was so much fun getting to know them, learning what are urban legends are true or not- like is there really a ship jail?? And how big is the onboard morgue- BIG apparently. And finally after all that that security are not allowed to drink even if they’re not working!

So Michail agreed to give a bottle to the next crew member on their way home but the cigars were a big hit! Two of them are leaving us in a few days and we celebrated with carrot cake and Bon Voyage! Come to find out their replacements are stuck in South Africa because of Australian immigration so they’re on at least another 2 weeks- I told them to ask for another cake!

Andre might have more votes for Mayor but I scared the shit out of a former Israeli military man! Ha ha! I win!!!